Updating our views on sexuality

Before one can update one’s beliefs on human sexuality, one must first understand where we are from. This is not about homosexuality, it is about contraception specifically the pill. Many people who consider themselves good Catholics have no idea about what the Church’s official stance is on the Pill, and are therefore are unable to ask for an update. The stance is this, quoting the Catechism of the Catholic Church 2370

“every action which, whether in anticipation of the conjugal act, or in its accomplishment, or in the development of its natural consequences, proposes, whether as an end or as a means, to render procreation impossible  is intrinsically evil” 

So there we go. The Church says that contraception in general is a sin, and a big one at that. However, if we are going to update our views on the Pill, we need to move beyond just the Catechism. We need to actually look at the Pill in real life.  The Pill came about during the sexual revolution to set women free from the blessings of motherhood, and it has preformed just as admirably as promised. As we update our views on sexuality it is good for us to remember that before artificial contraception came on the scene the divorce rate was well below 15% and up until the 1930’s all Christian denominations agreed that it was sinful. The divorce rate has since skyrocketed to above 50% (with many couples just forgoing marriage altogether) and the Catholics are one of the only holdouts left. Incidentally, the divorce rate for couples who use NFP (Natural Family Planning) is around 5%, give or take.  Why? What is it that makes all the difference? I can only speak from my own experience here and give the 2 reasons that my wife and I have chosen NFP. The first is that I find the Pill insulting to men. Sure, it objectifies women, but what about men? I see the Pill as an excuse to treat men like nothing more than animals. I could not bear to keep my wife drugged up just so I could have sex with her whenever I wanted without ever having to stop and think about the repercussions it might have on my family. In fact the whole idea of keeping someone on drugs so you can have sex sounds like the plot from a bad horror movie. NFP is extremely accurate (when done correctly) on predicting fertility in women, and so if we are not ready for the next mini Chase, we simply stop at the snuggle line. I am not a dog. I do not like society telling me that I am a dog and completely unable to control my sex drive.  The Pill is an insult to an authentic manhood.  The second reason we don’t let the Pill into our house is the fact that it causes cancer. That’s right CANCER!!!  As in it will do its best to kill you. Ladies, did you know that you are 4 times more likely to get breast cancer if you are on the Pill than those who aren’t?  Since 1 in 8 women in this country get breast cancer, I want to do my best to protect my wife from these rather gloomy odds. As a loving husband I don’t see how there is any way I can reasonably allow my wife to take a drug that makes her 4 times as likely to get a life threatening disease, just because we want to have more sex.   Many people who disagree with the Church’s condemnation of birth control are unaware of these facts. They make it sound like the Catholic Church hates sex or marriage. These statistics seem to show quite the opposite. God loves marriage and He loves us. He loves us so much that He doesn’t want to see us experience the heartache of divorce or the pain of cancer. He loves us enough to challenge men to be men and not beasts. In the end, God loves us enough to ask us to update our beliefs on sex and marriage to be more like His. Do we love Him enough in return to listen?